Morning Sickness

I've realized recently that, in my new place, I've developed a bit of a routine.

My alarm goes off, I turn it off, fall back asleep, and then wake up a short time later scared that I've missed something important.

I hop out of bed and, en route to the bathroom, stroll to the living room and look out the window to see what outdoor fate awaits me.

This isn't just a winter thing, as I've been doing this for weeks, but the last 10 days or so it has taken on a more dramatic turn as I find myself replacing the post-sleep muddle in my brain with a simple mantra "please don't be snowing please don't be snowing please don't be snowing" within the 50 feet it takes me to get from the bedroom to the window.

Today the view was shocking. SHOCKING. I went to bed last night after taking Smelly on one last visit to her favorite pee place and thought to myself how warm it must have been, as everything is melted and the ground was so soft. Today I walk out and there are INCHES of the shitty stuff coating everything. Damn!

My first thoughts were something like 1) Fuck this, 2) Where is my calendar so I know what to cancel, 3) Is today a teaching day so I can cancel my classes, 4) Good, it isn't a teaching day so I'll just loaf at home and curse the falling snow, 5) Fuck - I have to take Smelly to Tremont to see her vet, 6) Would it be terrible if I just let her ass problem wait till next week? 7) Fuck - yes, it would be terrible, 8) OK, so how am I gonna pull this off?

At point 8, I kinda hit a wall and my mind got stuck.

It stayed stuck for a couple minutes as I scanned through new emails and rationalized justifications for deleting rather than responding.

And then it hit me ... When did you become such a pussy about snow? I mean, no one likes to be cold and certainly you have to be a little more safe and patient in winter driving, but still... You are, after all, the guy who drove 100 miles in a blizzard to Wisconsin from Illinois to get laid back in college. (Note: I'm not that pathetic - I was going to school in Wisconsin at the time, my girlfriend was still there, and I was home at my parents for winter break. But, yes, the primary reason for making the trip was carnal.) You're the guy whose favorite thing to do in this sort of weather used to be strapping on some ugly Farm and Fleet boots and taking a walk. And somehow you became the guy who breaks up with new girlfriends because it is cold and wet outside and becomes all anti-social at the slightest whiff of an snowflake icon on your cell phone weather report?

Inappropriate. Unacceptable.

Sure the winter sucks. But I will make it to Tremont today.