Cleveland makes The Onion

Fucker Riding Man's Ass Whole Way Out To Cleveland

August 28, 2009 | Issue 45•35


TWINSBURG, OH—Jesus Christ, area man Mark Hurley cannot fucking believe this dumb shit who has been riding his ass all the way out to Cleveland, even though they're traveling on an empty three-lane highway. The asshole, who, for some reason refuses to just pass already, practically pulled into Hurley's backseat two hours ago, outside Toledo. "Come on!" Hurley reportedly hollered back at the goddamn lunatic, who is not only out of his mind, but apparently wants to get them both killed. "What the hell?" As of press time, oh God, you've got to be kidding, the fucker just turned on his high beams.

Post courtesy the nation's finest comedic newsweekly.

If this tickled your funnny bone as much as it tickled mine, check out these other excellent Clevo-centric Onion bits:

- Seriously, Cleveland, How Are You? (an editorial written by the one and only Bob Seger)

- Nonprofit Fights Poverty With Poverty

- Cleveland Sportswriter Compares LeBron James To Craig Ehlo

- Sports Team Defeated In Manner Befitting Its Name

- Area Man Has Shitty Fuckin' Job

- God Wondering If He's Being Too Cruel In Allowing Cavaliers To Reach NBA Finals

- Mike Brown Feels Cavs Are Being Outvictoried