Tuesday, March 10, 2009


I have made the executive decision to put myself on the romantic bench. There aren't exactly dozens of hearts simultaneously breaking over this news, I'm sure, and it isn't a new announcement - I made a similar one last fall as the winter approached. Nevertheless, when I returned from my southern sojourn to New Orleans and Austin in January, I encountered remarkable fortune. Several women, it seemed, were suddenly (albeit always temporarily) interested in talking to me. I don't know why, but I spent the next 7-8 weeks bouncing from interesting person to interesting person. Not much ever developed, indeed most interactions were hardly more than a handshake and a beer, but it was strangely thrilling. It also made me a lot more picky, as I was now rich with the realization that there are thousands of single women in NEO having just as much bad dating luck as me and that "settling" shouldn't be in my vocabulary.

At the same time, it made me quickly tire of the shallowness of it all, of the time and expense and witticisms wasted. The last week or two I've found myself becoming bored and boorish and, after coming home last night to a facebook message that seems to indicate the last of these temporary entanglements is kaput, I'm reeling it in for a bit. Besides, I have too damn much on my plate right now to keep giving away nights and afternoons. So, if you have that one quirky single friend you think might be interested ... let me stop you right there. I totally appreciate the thought, and truly am flattered that someone would think me decent enough to put me in contact with someone they like and care about, but I just can't pull it off right now and, likely, we'll all end up being disappointed in me and my dickish ways.

In other important personal decision news, I now know when I will be shaving my stache off: Tuesday, March 30th. I've been waiting until I could string together three consecutive days where I weighed less than 200 lbs, but as I start on the 4th consecutive day of eating buffalo cheese dip for lunch, that ain't happening any time soon and I have to look like a grown up for a convention in Chicago the first week of April. So be on the lookout for that.


Kelly and José said...

Buffalo Cheese Dip sounds strangely divine. . .

Although, what exactly do you dip into it? Hmm, you're not a veggie fan sooo tortilla or potato chips?

Let me know,

CB said...

Tortilla chips.

But I don't hate all veggies, I'm just intolerant of a certain few (cabbage, onions, stewed tomatoes) and prefer others (spinach, corn, fresh tomatoes).

Bridget Callahan said...

Poor 'stache.

How will I recognize you at all?

No seriously. You have to come up with some other defining feature.