Tuesday, February 24, 2009

My least favorite type of person

Perhaps I woke up on the wrong side of the bed or something, but this morning I've been doing some reflecting on a particular type of person, the person I have now decided is my least favorite type of person.

This type of person isn't as morally revolting as a racist or as intellectually devoid as a right-wing, religious fundamentalist, early-twenty-something just married to his high school sweetheart and hell-bent on ignoring all empirical evidence and attempting to justify supply-side economics. Or as loathsome as the type of people who continue their loud cell phone conversations in crowded elevators and can't seem to figure out why the connection becomes poor around Floor 10.

No, in a way, this is pretty harmless category of folks, but one that nonetheless has me irritated today (and lately).

What category is this of which you speak, CB, you might be asking. Or not. Still, I'll tell you.

It is the intolerable category of the smug jerks that act like you are being creepy and/or clueless when you are just trying to be nice.

To be clear, I'm not talking necessarily about inter-gender communication. Unwanted flirtatious advances can certainly be creepy, and sometimes a little cold shoulder helps make the point.

No, what I'm talking about is when a person attempts to be cool in regular human interaction and the other party acts like he/she is being a douche. You guys know the type of thing I'm talking about. Unless of course you've never been on the receiving end of it. In that case, you may have been one of the pricks dishing it out - so search deep down and think about if you've ever silently mocked along with a friend some person who was just being conversational. You probably have. I have, and I feel bad about it. Probably mostly because I know what the other side feels like, when some dick decides you just don't meet their standards of hipness or you aren't already in the secret club or whatever, therefore you must be ridiculed.

The whole things seems so high school, really. Which is sad considering most of the folks I've encountered this way since moving to Cleveland are in their 30s. Though when I'm in my 50s, I'll probably meet the same kind of assholes in their 50s. Anyway, to you folks, whether 15, 35, or nearing retirement, I say this:

Fuck you. You know who you are. That is, if you want to think about it.

And to those of you that are cool and friendly when a relative stranger strikes up a brief conversation, kudos. That's how we make friends in this world.


judith g. said...

So I find this to be completely true and am all for giving these guys the double finger, however this baditude that these people posess is probably just a symptom of a problem much like the issues in the list of your dislikable people... It's just disappointing, and one more reason I'm starting to think making people wear nametags similar to those on "singled out" is not such a bad idea... that way at least you would know right off the bat if you were wasting your time!

Bridget Callahan said...

You should carry around a thick black magic marker, and surreptiously mark them in a secret spot, so that other people who may "meet their standards of hipness" can recognize them for the card carrying douche they are.

Or you can adapt, like me, and become completely and utterly aware anytime anyone is being smug prick.

I'm probably not going to Tokyo Police Club this weekend. Did you still want to go to Don C, or are you out? Don't suppose you have any interest in road tripping with me and Buddy to Britney's tour/3 ring Circus in Columbus?

That last part is a joke. I mean, we're still totally going, but I wouldn't expect you to. In fact, you're probably offended by the very suggestion. Don't be mean, or I'll have to mark you.

CB said...

B - the black dot idea is priceless! I think I'm gonna do it.

Thanks for the C-bus invite, but I can't make it. I do still plan on checking out Don C, assuming my car is running again. I gotta have it towed back to the shop tomorrow. Ugh.

Kerry said...

It must be something in the Cleveland water, because I swear I got that same attitude ALL THE DAMN TIME when I lived there. I referred to it as people looking at me like I was speaking Russian. No ranting, Kerry!

AC Pacek said...

Why not make jolly sport of tormenting such people mercilessly? They are clearly asking for it, unquestioningly merit it, and doubtless revel in it to a degree.

If you can't be loved, be feared.