Friday, January 23, 2009

Only 77 Days Until This Fucking Winter Dies

Can you believe that it has been two months since I last aired my wintry grievances on this blog? And that it is only about two and a half more months until my self-appointed last day of winter (i.e., the day of the Indians home opener)? Naturally my math the first time was totally fucked, and is probably equally so again, but the point remains ... it has been a long time since I used this perch to bitch. About the weather, at least.

So what occasions this, uh, occasion? Some of you more optimistic folks might be like, "Um, dude, haven't you noticed the heat wave today?" Yes, I noticed. It is 40 whole degrees outside, according to the handy-dandy weather gizmo on my iphone. Forty Fucking Degrees. This, my friends (and enemies and the 3-4 people I haven't yet classified into one of those two categories) is not a god damn heat wave. This is still shitty weather, just not quite as shitty as last week or, definitely, the week before.

Listen. It is important to be honest and, above all, to be honest with ourselves. Once you start saying things like "it is nice outside" when it is forty degrees, words start mattering less and less. And you do a horrible disservice to those days when it is nice. You know, like my favorite day of the year, the day when the ladies break out the skirts and light blouses, even though it is still a little too chilly for that but they just can't stop themselves. Optimistic skirt day, I call it. Or rather just decided to call it. I have loved this day for many years, and used to have much less appropriate names for it when I was in college, but Optimistic Skirt Day is a good enough name. Ahh ... Optimistic Skirt Day, rivaled only perhaps by that wonderful day in late August every year in college towns across America: Cute Co-Ed Shopping at Target with New Roommate Day. But I digress (and likely disgust).

8 comments:

Russ said...

Really, this is the best winter we've had in years. It has sustained cold, which means that instead of half-thawing and melting into a grey/brown slurry every couple of days we have a good amount of white on the ground. Instead of a seamless grey dome we're having sunny cold days (seriously, most days from Nov-Mar you cannot pinpoint the location of the sun in the sky).

If you don't like this winter, you don't like winter, and have much worse in store if you stick around this town.

blue-eyed brunette said...

Today is Optimistic Skirt Day - here in Dallas. And yesterday too.
This weekend and next week it goes back to the low 30's.
I love OS Day!

CB said...

Russ - Of course I don't like winter! No shit.

I will disagree with your endorsement of this winter though. When they are throwing around phrases like "the coldest winter since 1994" the last thing I think of is how this is great. Slush is only one of the many terrible aspects of winter. The idea that this winter is fine because it has been so cold the snow can't melt is, well, what do they say about lipstick and pigs?

B-E B: I so miss Texas on days like these. Hopefully when I'm in Austin for sxsw in March it will be Optimistic Skirt Week- Hipster Edition!

Russ said...

Sorry, ten degrees warmer wouldn't make you warm or bring out the skirts, but it would make the town uglier.

I don't expect to convert you with your thin Texas blood... but I do hear your sentiment echoed by natives and it boggles.

BTW I spent my high school years in El Paso (which is really more New Mexico than Texas), but I came north because I was tired of having only three seasons.

Bridget Callahan said...

I agree with Russ, stop being a wuss. This is awesome! I haven't been stuck in snow even once!And I haven't even broke out the gloves yet.

Christine said...

welcome back from your blogging vacation! i highly recommend investing in some winter silk long underwear to deal with the winter chill. trust someone who waits for the bus in -13 below weather! like homey the clown, i don't mess around!

CB said...

Hey Christine! That's a good idea. I think I might order me a pair today!

Christine said...

That's the spirit! You show winter who's boss!