Monday, September 8, 2008

Wrap your mind around this!

So that girl I went on a date with, the one that didn't go so well, the one that ended like a deleted scene from Swingers (hat tip Kelly/Jose)...

I just found out today that the girl I was out with met someone else around the same time she met me, and that they've been seeing each other now for a few weeks.

Normal, right? In a way, it makes the tiny sting of failing to wow her even tinier. In particular, it makes me hold her in even higher regard for being a one-at-a-time kind of dater.

But then I found out ... her new boyfriend ....

is a male stripper.

A freaking male stripper!

How does that happen?!? How do I end up going on a date with someone that also dates male strippers. Is that the dating pool I'm in? And if so, which one of us should feel ashamed? Me? The male stripper? Both of us? I'm sure if he saw a photo of me, he'd be equally shocked.

My head has been swimming since I found this out. I feel an unprecedented combination of pity, disdain, snobbishness, and self-loathing. I kinda want to chuckle but feel like a jerk when I do.

Anyway, I don't really have a point here. I just promised in my last post to check back in here when something hilariously bizarre crossed my path and this was the first thing to do so.

Chew on that for a while.

And, if you are inclined, feel free to post in the comments descriptions of the dudes or chicks you've been tossed over for or followed up by or whatever. You know what I mean.

Freaking male stripper. Wow. Incredible.

Male stripper.

10 comments:

Mel said...

I have nothing more to say than, "Ew."

Kerry said...

There are male strippers in Cleveland?

Who actually get paid to do that?

Huh. Who knew.

CB said...

Apparently my former date did.

dylanite said...

Okay... I'm pulling one out of the lock box for this... It's not about a male stipper or date competition per say, but merits weirdness nevertheless...

I once was seeing a girl in high school who invited me over after a couple of dates. I get to her house and I immediately stumble upon her shirtless dad, his hairy hanging nipple rings and a Camaro muscle car he was working on. The thing is he spent the entire day interviewing me, showing me the cool car, threatening my life as dads usually do and, most memorably, getting really, really close with those hairy and sweaty nipple rings (did I mention he was about half a foot taller than me?). It was like a bad Seinfeld episode. The guy looked just like one of the characters from South Park. Obviously, I was very scared, of course, and had no route of escape. I was invited to stay for dinner where he continued to be shirtless, hairy, and scary. Afterward, I was torn between being grossed out and still liking the girl. I decided to stick it out but it turned out her dad hated me and she soon dropped the hint that I just wouldn't do. And I know that's a pretty different kind of wierd dating story but maybe still something valuable for your amusement to chew on...

CB said...

That's a good one! About as good as the time my girlfriend junior year in college took me home to meet her family and the father refused to allow me to dine with the rest of the group.

Kelly and José said...

why wouldn't he let you dine with the rest of the group cb?


José

CB said...

Jose - Because he was mean and crazy and a dictator in his own home. I went to their house over spring break and I guess he wasn't happy about it. Who knows? You can't explain crazy people.

Kelly and José said...

a girl I dated in college her dad was a former gold gloves boxer and he also did masonry for a living, needles to say he was strong. Anyways the first time I went to her house down in the nati to dinner. Her dad told me that I could have a beer but only if I could crush my a bottlecap between my thumb and my index finger. Try as I might I could not. That really does not relate to your story but this girl's dad was very imposing. Your story reminded me of that encounter.

CB said...

Nice. The same guy who refused to let me dine with the family finally spoke to me at the end of my few day stay, long enough to say something like, "The United States is not big enough for the both of us, should you ever hurt my daughter."

The fact that he was a shriveled up old man didn't make the threat seem like that big of a deal. I managed to not laugh at him, though in retrospect I sorta wish I would have, and then said, "Whatever, old man."

Mr. Obervant said...

well it might be something different that what ur thinking. i dated this girl that had "lots of guy friends" but she had a reputation that was rumored and that i experienced first hand so i wasnt fooled. however later i learned she was bipolar so it explained lots of her erratic behavior, sexual recklessness and random sexual partners. if i didnt experience it i would of just thought she was very very loose. lol. but looking back it all makes sense. i feel bad for her. she is sick but at the same time not my problem anymore. its Mr. this weeks problem. lol